A Big Day

So as you can see i am just trying to get a hang of this whole 'blogging' thing, i am a bit of a perfectionist so the look of it takes a lot of time for me, so who knows you may open this up tommorrow afternoon and it will look completely different ;)
Today was a big day for me, I made a decision that was well huge. It is scary to make decisions when you dont know the outcome. Change is exciting but it is also very hard and very scary and VERY complicated; especially when you are not the only one involved. It makes it so hard to think clearly, to think for yourself, your needs but at the end of the day you have to think of YOUR needs. I ,a lot of times; as i am sure a lot of people have a very hard time doing this. It is hard for me to put my needs first but today I did just that. It felt really good but it also felt very scary and to be honest a little selfish....I think sometimes we are so worried about putting our needs first we sabotage what it feels like or that it might be good for us, for me I felt empowered, but i also felt selfish when in reality it was something I NEEDED to do, i needed to do this for me and my family. So I will probably have to cry my eyes out about it and then put my big girl panties on and embrace this, move forward into a new world. A world where I do not "feel bad" for taking care of myself, because like they always say "If you don't take care of yourself no one else will" and there is a lot of truth to that. We are the only ones that can truly do what is best for us, it is our/my life and we/I have control of it and we need to remember this and never forget it! I do not ever want to get back to that place where I dont take care of myself, it doesn't feel right for me and it never did, I always felt out of my skin when I wasn't looking out for myself. So tomorrow I wake up excited and scared all wrapped up in one but happy with myself for protecting me.